I am a crazy, occult-obsessed nerdlicious moviemaker.

You heard me correctly. I AM CRAZY AND OBSESSED WITH THE OCCULT!

At the moment I am on the school computer, so there’s not a lot of personal documents on here. But I was bored and surfing through the documents, and came across a recipe I got from a website:

Voodoo Spell to Contact the Dead

Ingredients:
Black cloth
Incense sticks
Red scented candle
Ivory candle
Bowl of water
Manuka oil

Procedure:

On a black cloth arrange incense sticks in the shape of a triangle.

Light a red (rose petal) scented candle inside the triangle with an ivory candle.

On a piece of paper write the name of the deceased person who you want to contact. In a little bowl, place some water. Place inside the triangle.

Rub some manuka oil on the paper. Burn it with the ivory candle. Mix the ashes of the paper in the water and say the following,
“O life beyond life itself,
Come forth as I call out to thee.
Speak through the clear still water,
Like I speak through a mirror to me”.

After saying this spell, the spirit of the dead shall appear in the water as a reflection, in order to communicate. If the water stirs, the spirits have arisen. If it does not do not repeat the spell for another 10 mins, but try again there after. Once you are certain you have a medium of communication with the dead stop reciting the spell.

I am ridiculous. Bewitched with witches, spellbound by spells, possessed by possessive poltergeists, infatuated with incubi, and haunted by haunts. 

I am totally going to perform that spell … er, just to see if it works. Yeah, that’s why. >>

The “moviemaker” portion of the title was just to show you this ridiculous script I just found on my school system. I wrote it … in February-ish? It’s really terrible, I think.

Untitled

Story variation by M Kusik

Screenplay by N Rogers

 

Scene 1: Flashes of a school day with opening credits

 

Scene 2: Before class begins, during class.

Action: We see students milling about the classroom, talking and laughing

 

Eleni: Can you believe it? Only three more weeks until summer!

Girl 1: I know! I just can’t wait to get a work on my tan.

Peggy: I’m going to throw the most kick ass end-of-the-year party Oak Hills has ever seen.

Boy 1: I just can’t wait to start my summer reading.

            *groans*

Boy 1: What? Can I help it if I like to expand my knowledge and vocabulary while having fun?

            *bell rings*

Eleni: Just three more weeks. Then I can taste the sweet, sweet nectar of summer on my lips!

Teach: Interesting phrase, Eleni. *pause* Perhaps we can use your inspiration to veer our lesson for today.

            *groans*

Teach: Please. You should thank Eleni. Instead of writing seven paragraph essays about expanding hallway time, you’ll get to write poetry. A free-for-all writing session about your … your fondest summertime memory! For instance. My best memory was when I was eight years old. It was the first time I had a watermelon. The juice was SO sweet. I spit the seeds as far as I could, farther than my older brother in fact! For your assignment, give me DETAILS! The taste of the fruit; the sound of the seeds smacking the ground. Details! You have 45 minutes. If it will help your minds to open and invite new ideas to be born, partner up. Let the inspiration FLOW!

–         The class rumbles around. Noise is a dull roar.-

Eleni: So, Peggy. What’s your “fondest memory” of the blissful heaven we call The Sunny Vacate?

Peggy: I remember this one time, I was wearing white shorts and ran around in the sprinklers. Moral of the story: never wear blue underwear with white shorts on a hot day.

            *Two other people come over.*

Katie: Hey Peggy.

Peggy: What’s up, Katie?

Katie: Well, I was wondering if you were serious earlier about throwing that party. See, I was going to throw one myself, but my parents are being ridiculous and won’t let me. Plus, I wouldn’t’ know who to invite. So … if you do want to have it, we can both co-host it … ?

Peggy: Sounds great. Want to meet up after school and discuss everything?

Katie: Awesome. *waves*

Eleni: So … a part-ay, huh?

Peggy: Why not? It’ll be awesome. All the best people, all the best music, hanging out together! It would appeal to any sane person! Richard, you want to come?

Richard: Thanks. So … Eleni, since this party ordeal is going on … I have a question for you.

Eleni: Sure, what’s up, Richard?

Richard: Well, at the party there will most likely be music … I mean, I’m guessing there is. Right? (Peggy nods) So … I was wondering … I mean, I can’t dance very well but I like to and it’s always fun, so –

Eleni: Rich. Stop. Don’t hurt yourself. I’d love to dance with you.

Richard: Awesome. Thanks!

            *Richard leaves*

Peggy: WELL! That was just plain adorable.

Eleni: Rich is adorable. Okay, poem time. Let’s get cracking.

Peggy: Yes, that magical moment when all my playmates branded me with Miss Bluey Patootie. Good times.

 

Scene 3: It is June 12th, the last day of school. Everyone is dressed up for pictures and 8th grade graduation.

Action: Kids on the lawn, flitting around; spirits are high.

 

Girl 1: Eeeeek! You guys, this is it! Summer is HERE!

Girl 2: After this, we’ve got a lazy summer and then HIGH SCHOOL!

Peggy: Literally after this, we have a kickin’ party to go to! Swing on by.

Katie: *high fives* Hell yeah!

Boy 2: My my, ladies! Don’t we all look beautiful!

Peggy: Yeah. *looks around* Well, I’m trying to find someone …

Katie: Who is it?

Peggy: I honestly don’t know his name. But he’s really cute and … *flushes* Yeah. I’m looking for him.

Boy 2: You’re looking at him right now, honey.

Peggy: *rolls eyes* Oh, hush up.

Girl 2: Well how did you meet this mystery man?

Peggy: It was about a year ago …

 

Scene 4: Flashback. Hallway stairs.

Action: Peggy is running down the stairs with untied shoes. We see a boy in a cast up ahead, but P does not. She runs into him and lads in a straddle on his chest.

Peggy: Ummm.

Calder: Ow. Could you … ?

Peggy: Yeah. Sorry. *gets up* Oh shit, dude. I’m soooo sorry. Oh damn. Fugging mother of … damn. I’m soooo sorry. Is … is your leg okay? Did I re break it? Fug. I’m such a klutz. Damn. Shit. Soooo sorry. God … oh, here are your crutches. I’m sorry! Damn it. Do you need, uh, a doctor or something? Do, do, do, do, do … shit. SORRY.

Calder: *laughs* (slow mo) That’s fine. Don’t worry about it. This thing is indestructible. *smiles* Bye!

Peggy: Umm. *awestruck* G’bye.

            -Michael struggles up onto his crutches, and wobbles away. –

 

Scene 5: Back on the front lawn, present day.

Action: Peggy’s group is talking.

 

Girl 1: *laughing*

Peggy: Shut up! *laughs* Alright, it was a bit funny. But I was so awed, I didn’t even ask his name. And I don’t think I ever saw him after that.

Boy 2: Well, I know who that guy is. I remember he broke his leg last year. Green cast, right?

Peggy: Yeah.

Boy 2: Yeah, that’s Calder Reed. He’s on the soccer team with my friend Leo. Cool dude. But he’s not as cool as me, baby.

Girl 2: Oh yeah. You’re soooo cool. What about that time in 7th grade when you forgot to wear pants?

            *Girl 1 and Peggy laugh*

Peggy: Pants? How could you forget pants?

Girl 2: He was wearing this cute pair of Spiderman long john’s.

Girl 1: There better be some pictures of that. Can you say Facebook?

Boy 2: Noooooooooo!

            -Camera shifts across the schoolyard to Eleni and her cluster.-

Eleni: *handing out flyers or invites* Guys, end of the year party at Peggy Mitchell’s house! After graduation, head on over to the coolest pad on the block! Free admission!

–         Camera shifts again to a cute guy (Calder) staring after Eleni. He breaks away from his group and walks up to Peggy’s group –

Boy 2: Oh thanks God, Calder. You’ve saved me from any MORE emotional distress. *leaves*

Calder: Hey guys.

Katie: Hey.

Girl 1: Hi!

Girl 2: Hi there.

Peggy: *flushes* Hey.

Calder: *to Peggy* So, you’re having a party tonight?

Peggy: Yeah. You coming?

Calder: Sure, I’ll swing by later tonight.

Peggy: Cool. See you then.

Calder: Bye. Hey, wait … want to hang out later this weekend?

Peggy: Umm, sure! No sweat. How about tomorrow around lunch?

Calder: Okay. I’ll call you after I call my girlfriend.

Peggy: (discouraged, sad) Oh! Sure. Bye.

            *Calder leaves*

Girl 1: Oh, Peggy? THAT was Calder Reed.

Peggy: Yeah. I know.

 

Scene 6: Party.

Action: We see many flashes of a KICKASS party. Dancing and talking (and swimming?). We see Eleni dancing with Richard. Peggy is being a host. <100 people are there, hanging out. We see Calder chilling with Jocks 1, 2, 3, and some other people in the corner. As Eleni goes for a drink, he gets up and follows her. She grabs for the punch ladle, and so does he, so their hands bump.

Eleni: Hey. Killer party, eh?

Calder: Totally. Are you Peggy’s friend?

Eleni: Yeah. We’re like this. *intertwines two fingers* Why? You interested in her?

Calder: *laughs* Not in that way. Maybe more of a friendship than a girlfriend … ship.

Eleni: Awesome. *grins* So … who are you again? I’ve seen you before, but Oak Hills Jr was a pretty big school.

Calder: Calder Reed. Nice to meet you. *shakes hand*

Eleni: *laughs at shake* I’m Eleni Braveford.

Calder: Eleni. That’s pretty.

Eleni: Thanks. So, want to dance?

Calder: Oh, well I’m with some-

Eleni: Oh, come on. *grins, pulls him in to dance*

–         They dance. Three songs later, Eleni waves goodbye, and runs off to dance with some girls. Calder is awestruck. The camera moves to Peggy, hosting, who runs into Calder. –

Peggy: Hey, you made it!

Calder: Yeah. Great party.

Peggy: *grins* Thanks. So, tomorrow … come over at 12:30. I’ll make a pizza. Sausage.

Calder: Wicked. Bye!

Peggy: Oh? Leaving so soon? Party’s that bad, huh?

Calder: Well, pumpin’ parties usually wipe me out. Next time I’ll stay longer.

Peggy: *flip wave* Next time.

            *Calder leaves*

            – More shots of the party. We see Eleni, Peggy, and a group of girls dancing together. Most boys are standing along the walls, watching. The camera leaves the house (keeping an “eye” on the house) and watches it until out on the street. From here we see Calder with his group of Jocks 1, 2, and 3. –

Calder: She is just so cool, you guys.

Jock 1: Was she a good dancer?

Jock 3: Nice body?

Calder: HELL yeah.

Jock 2: But what about Briana? You know, your GIRLFRIEND?

Calder: Chill out, man. I broke up with Briana tonight, just before the party.

Jock 3: And you’re already playing the field? Nice, my brother, nice.

Jock 2: Do you really think that’s right? You’ve been broken up for, what, two hours?

Jock 1: Be cool! I give him major props. Drama with three girls in one night-

Jock 2: Wait, there’s a THIRD girl?

Jock 1: Yeah, Calder! I saw you talking up Peggy Mitchell a few minutes ago!

Jock 3: Peggy Mitchell. She’s high on the charts.

Jock 1: But Briana’s hotter.

Jock 2: Peggy’s a nice girl.

Jock 1: Brianna is still hotter.

Jock 3: I’d bang Peggy.

Jock 1: I’d bang Briana.

Jock 3: I’d bang ‘em both.

Jock 2: NOT COOL!

Jock 3: Bangbangbangbang BANG!

Jock 2: Stop it!

            *bantering continues*

Calder: Whoa, guys, cool it. I’m not going to “bang” Peggy Mitchell, or Briana, or Eleni Braveford for that matter. Peggy and I are just friends.

Jock 3: What about Eleni the Brave?

Calder: She’s … well, she’s a possibility.

            *Jocks 3 and 1 high five*

Jock 3: Knew it.

Jock 1: Totally. Congrats, man.

Calder: Please, guys. Try to have some dignity. *in a whiney voice* Gosh, men are such animals!

            *The boys joke around as they walk away*

 

Scene 7: Peggy’s house, morning.

Action: We see Peggy asleep. The clock reads 12:25pm. The camera scrolls down the stairs, through a messy party house, and to the front door. We see a shot of down the street. Camera cuts to Calder biking, whistling. He pulls up to Peggy’s house. Rings doorbell. Upstairs shot: Peggy’s eyes fly open, looks at the clock, and she screams. She flies out of bed, grabbing a brush. She gargles mouthwash as she ties her hair up in a pony. She runs downstairs, puts a pizza in the oven, and runs to the door. Opens door.

Calder: *laughs* You totally just woke up, didn’t you?

Peggy: Damn. Come on in.

            -Calder goes inside and sits down on a couch in the living room. Peggy perches on the arm of a chair. –

Peggy: So.

Calder: So.

Peggy: Pizza will be ready in eight minutes.

Calder: Cool.

Peggy: Yeah … alright, Calder, why did you want to hang out today?

Calder: I thought we could be friends. You always seem to be a person many people like, and you’re friends with a lot of people, and so am I, but we’re not really friends with each other, so-

Peggy: *smiles* No novel, dude. Sure, we can be friends. So let’s get to know each other. What do you like to do?

Calder: Well, I play soccer. And I like to read a lot of horror stories, like stuff by Stephen King. And I like funny movies –

Peggy: *fakely yawns* Oh, sorry, were you saying something? I fell asleep.

Calder: Oh, I bore you, do I?

Peggy: You sound like you’re giving me one of those 7th grade, get-to-know-you speeches. Put in some flavor.

Calder: Uhhhh … *enthusiastically* I like sports and movies with funny stuff and …

            *Peggy is laughing*

Calder: What? What now?

Peggy” Let me give you a lesson. People don’t want to hear that speech. They want to know what really interests you. Who is your favorite sports player; your best technique in playing soccer? How does playing soccer make you feel? Why do you play soccer; why not football, or baseball, or mini golf? Who do you play for; with that I don’t mean your team but who are you trying to impress? Do you see what I mean? Put some feeling, some thought, some soul into your speech. Get it?

Calder: Wow.

Peggy: What?

Calder: That .. that was so inspirational. I … I think I have something in my eye. *wipes fake tear*

Peggy: Shut up. *grins*

Calder: So, Peg. What do you like to do?

Peggy: *laughs* Nothing.

Calder: Put some heart, some soul, some feeling into your answer!

Peggy: Alright, man. I’ll tell you what I like and I’ll put some feeling in it. I love music. I’m very passionate about it. I love to listen to it on the radio and I love playing it myself. I dunno if you know this, but I’m a drummer in the marching band and I’m in a garage band as well. I’m also into writing; mostly poetry and short stories. I can’t write songs for shit. I love to read and I pity people who hate it. Is that enough for you, Calder?

Calder: Yeah. Now I know.

Peggy: And?

Calder: And I think it’s awesome. I mean, I’m not really that into anything. Yeah, soccer is cool and all, but I mostly like writing movies and stuff. I’ve always wanted to produce one, but I can’t find enough people who want to be in a homemade movie, y’know?  They’re usually sci-fi, and not a lot of people will cope with that weirdo stuff.

Peggy: You should ask Eleni. She’s an aspiring actress and is into all that Star Trekkie stuff. It’s not for my tastes but everyone’s got something they’re not too crazy about.

Calder: That’d be awesome. Will … will you be in one of my movies too?

Peggy: Blech. As long as I get less than three lines and minimal camera time.

Calder: Aww, are you camera shy?

Peggy: No. I just can’t act. I hate watching myself later; if just makes me grimace.

Calder: Perfect. I’ll be sure to make you Tree #3. Or “Girl with bucket”.

Peggy: Sounds fabulous. So … I have a question for you.

Calder: Yeah?

Peggy: Why didn’t you call me last night? You said you would.

Calder: Well, I saw you at your party. So I figured …

Peggy: No worries. I was just wondering.

Calder: Nah, I’m sorry. I should’ve. But I was up all night anyways talking to Briana.

Peggy: She’s your girlfriend?

Calder: Well, now ex-girlfriend. We broke up. Well, I broke it up. We weren’t really interested in each other and we rarely went anywhere, or did anything any more, so …

Peggy: Aw, I’m sorry.

Calder: Nah, don’t be. Better luck next time, eh?

Peggy: That’s the spirit! So, do you like anyone else?

Calder: Well, there’s this one girl …

Peggy: Oh? Do tell!

Calder: Never mind. It’s silly.

Peggy: No, tell me. We’re friends, Calder.

Calder: Well, you’re friends with her, I think … Eleni Braveford?

Peggy: *gulp* Oh. Wow. This … this is big.

Calder: Yeah. So … yeah. When’s that pizza ready?

Peggy: Uh. A few minutes. Let’s watch TV.

Calder: Alright.

–         Peggy turns on the TV. She has her arms crossed and is glaring at the screen. Calder notices.

Calder: Are you mad?

Peggy: What?

Calder: Are you mad? Are you mad that  I like Eleni? You seem mad. Is it because I’m not good enough for her or something? Because, I mean, I’ll change. I will. Definitely. I’m willing. Is it … is it how I dress? My hair? I’ve been meaning to cut it for a while, so … so today I’ll cut it! I can do that today. I’ll call the salon. I’ll-

Peggy: Calder! Stop. Calm down. It’s not any of that, it’s just…

P’s THOUGHT: … it’s just that I love you.

Peggy: … it’s just that she wouldn’t like you very much.

Calder: And why not?

Peggy: Well, I think she likes someone else.

Calder: Oh.

Peggy: Yeah.

–         A “ding” is heard from the kitchen. Peggy gets up quietly. –

Calder: Oh.

–         The camera cuts to them eating in silence. Finally, Calder throws down his slice of pizza. –

Calder: What can I do?

Peggy: Huh?

Calder: What can I do to make her like me?

Peggy: You can’t force someone to like you, Calder. It just doesn’t work like that.

Calder: Well, it’s going to have to. I’ll try. I’ll try my very best, and … and you know what? You’re going to help me.

Peggy: Me? Why?

Calder: You’re best friends with Eleni. You could talk to her, or something. Or tell me what she’s into. Or put in many, many good words for me.

Peggy: I dunno, Calder. I would feel, uh, bad. Like I’m betraying her.

 

Calder: How?

Peggy: Because … because it’s like you’re using me to get to her. And if I go along with it, I’d have to lie to Eleni and say I wasn’t helping you!

Calder: No, Peg. It wouldn’t be like that at all! I mean, if you don’t say anything to her at all about it, you won’t be lying right? You just have to get her to like me, right?

Peggy: I really can’t believe you’re asking me to do this. I thought you were nice!

Calder: Whoa, Peggy. Jeez. I am nice. I just really like Eleni –

Peggy: Calder, how much did you even talk to her?

Calder: Uh, a few minutes. And we danced.

Peggy: Oh. Well, still. You shouldn’t be using me.

Calder: I’m not, Peggy! I just like her and I want her to like me. And you and I are friends and so are you and Eleni, so I’m just asking it as a favor! God.

Peggy: Fine. I’ll help you. But I’m not stealing her diary or something weird like that.

Calder: Agreed. That’s just stalker-ish. *takes bite of pizza* Cold.

Peggy: Want me to reheart it?

Calder: No, it’s cool. I like it cold.

Peggy: Me too.

 

I shouldn’t be allowed a pen and paper, much less a keyboard and a computer with a word processor.

God, I suck. hahhaa.

 

Nora

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~ by junkinmahcranium on May 5, 2009.

2 Responses to “I am a crazy, occult-obsessed nerdlicious moviemaker.”

  1. About that script, the STORYLINE was RIDICULOUS, but the script itself was very well written.
    As for the obsession with the occult, would you like to have that Ouija (weee-jeeeeee, teeheeee) board? It’s not doing much good sitting in my closet.
    BIG SMILES FO YOU EVEN DOUGH I EM ANGER-Y. 😀

    • :OOOOO why are you anger-y?!?!??!! D: D: D: D: D:

      YES I would love that Ouija (wee-jeee, stfu :D) board. I have always secretly wanted it but wasn’t sure what sort of voodoo magic you were performing over there.

      Can I also have that box of candles and shiz?

      And those rollerblades? 😀 😀

      I ask so much of you. Ask some shiz of me!

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