raspberry toothpaste and strawberry fluoride

I have a line from an Adele song in my head, the only time she ever swears on the 19 album. It goes “Shows that we ain’t gonna stand shit/ shows that we are united”. I like it much. It makes me feel empowered and all mighty and shiz. I like this feeling.

I might just put the song on repeat.

OHMYGOD. A MIRACLE HAS OCCURED. MY FATHER HAS JUST INFORMED ME THAT WE ARE EATING OUT. Well, getting pizza. THIS IS A MIRACLE, for two reasons. One, we haven’t gone out to eat in about, oh I dunno, two or three years, excluding the times when my brother would take us out to eat the rare times we see him. Two, WE HAVE NEVER EVER EVER EVER gotten pizza. Like, ever. We always eat frozen pizza from the grocery store. This is effing crayzay. I am ecstatic, no shit.

I am emailing with a friend but he takes too damned long in between emails and then I get worried and feel alone and freak out, and can’t type, and can’t think about anything except his email, and end up clicking “GET NEW MAIL” every ten seconds, and freak out when finally, fifteen minutes later, a  new email pops up, and then tab over to my blog and write giant one-sentence paragraphs, and then I die.

JUST KIDDING. Still alive.

I am bad at tehh humor.

Hopefully I’ll get to visit my sister (in college) soon. It’s only been a month since I’ve seen her but I miss her and want to gush about my life so far (a lot has happened! I just don’t share all the juicy shit with you guys :P), and listen to HER gush(noun, not verb), and just have a grand ol’ time. We’re planning for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but my dad has to go too. :/ I want it to just be me and her and her roomies hanging out. My dad is such a bitch, and super lame and I do not get along with him in the least bit. I just know he’ll ruin my time.

But otherwise. EXCITEMENT UP THE BUTT. Well now. I never wrote a sentence more unintentionally sexual* in all my days.

I got another Advanced Readers Copy (ARC, ain’t I cool with mah acronyms!) in the mail the other day. I’m super excited to read it; it looks tremendously sad and driving. What I feast on.

The damned weather. It’s been so effing cold for a week. It’s the second w. in October, I just don’t know what we did to deserve this. Woke up and it was below freezing. No shit. It snowed a few towns over. Effing ridiculous. All the pumpkins are going to die before I get a chance to carve them. This makes me sad. Effing Mothre Nature. Bet she’s not getting any. That’s the problem here.  Mothre can’t get laid and is taking it out on us. GAH D: Mothre, you suck … oh, no you don’t. Nevermind.

WOW THAT WAS AN AWFUL LAST THREE SENTENCES. I am freaking out here. What is wrong with me? I have to go.

*Not saying that I’ve written more sexual sentences INTENTIONALLY. No, not saying that at all.


~ by junkinmahcranium on October 12, 2009.

3 Responses to “raspberry toothpaste and strawberry fluoride”

  1. While reading this I drank 500ml of milk and now I feel a bit milk full. 😦
    I love your unintentional innuendo.

  2. That was hillarious.
    I love it.
    That’s all I have to say.

    You and your little one sided argument with mother nature

    Ahh…I love it!

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